My favorite part of the day....

I love this part of the day. The kids are in bed. The house is quiet. I'm relaxing and watching Desperate Housewives on Tivo. It's quite a nice little night. It's nothing spectacular, but I'm loving it right now. I'm needing a spa day. I need a little massage, mani and pedi....and some serious alone time sometime soon.

Yes...I know what you're thinking, but I need a vacation. Since that's not happening soon and the yoga studios are not here in TN....then Spa Day it is.

That's all I have for tonight. Yes, all about me. :)
XOXO
C

Sunday and My Coffee...

My wonderul coffee tastes perfect this morning. I love curling up with my coffee and just sipping it and enjoying it on Sunday mornings.

I had a little adventurous weekend. The children were in full throttle this weekend. It was a three day weekend, because the teachers had an inservice day on Friday for report cards. I said yes to a sleep over for Friday. Oh wow! I'm used to letting them go out to sleep overs...but my three plus a children added oh man. This mommy was exhausted. LOL. They had fun, though. I know that I won't be doing this every weekend.

I figured out why I was so out of it yesterday, too. Friday night I took some allergy medicine and knocked me out until 4pm yesterday. I'm telling you I was down for the count. It was horrible. I couldn't even keep my eyes open. No amount of anything was going to wake me up..lol. I was a sight.

So, today is a beautiful day out. The sun is out and it's already 60. I do miss cali on days like today, because the kids would love to just hang out today there. They keep asking for the beach and my oldest just rolls her eyes and tells them to get a clue there's no beach in TN. She could be nice but no way.

There is nothing exciting in my world. I just thought I'd check in and type a little. We'll see what happens after the coffee, the rest of the house wakes up , and the day gets started.
Bye for now...
C

Rosey or Grey?

Sometimes things aren't the way they seem. I wonder how it is I paint such a rosey picture on my reality when some parts are just light shades of grey.

I realize now that my friend isn't coming back. I miss that friendship more than I could have ever dreamed possible. I have compartmentalized it for months now, but the last few days it's come back to bite me in the ass. I figured if I put that pain out of my head it would leave my heart. No such luck.

I'm learning to listen to my inner voice, follow my heart....and I know I'll be ok...

Happy Friday!

Well today is supposed to be a gorgeous day! The kids are home for day off, because the teachers are doing report cards. I'm sure they'll be out and enjoying it. The difference a little sun can make.

I'm sipping some coffee and watching a little CNN right now just taking the morning in. The kids are going lightly with the Mommy. They know i'm on my first cup. :) They're trained well.

I was too reflective yesterday. I thought about the what ifs. I don't live my life like that, but the last month seems so relfective and stressful that it's the natural next step for the brain to go there. In doing so...I'm emotionally exhausted. I have a great life...don't get me wrong. I've got it good.

• My kids are wonderful
• I've been loved and have loved passionately
• I have amazing friends
• I'm wildly creative and educated
• According to the latest quiz....I'm a little Tinkerbell sexy
• My business is starting out wonderfully....

So all in all life is good. So why do I refect?! I'm such a chick..lol. Ok More coffee is needed. The brain is foggy and I'm not nearly as witty as I'd like to be. :)
XOX
C

Spidey and his boy stuff...

TMI (too much information) Beware.
First, let me start by telling you all that I am the oldest daughter with younger sisters. They're still in their younger 20's. I have three children the two older are girly girls 10 and 6. Spiderman was the first and only boy to enter this family by birth in forever he's 4..lol.

Ok. So you can understand that I am learning the boy stuff as we go. I live in a girly house. I'm a girly girl myself. So, when my son did what he did to me the other day...I really felt like I was going to faint. Seriouly, I almost died.

"Oh no Mommy...My____ _____ Growed!" Spiderman is4! OMG!

"Mommy, Look!" He came over and yelled!

"Hey, Ava....!" He Screamed.....

I shot up out of my frozen horrified state and screamed for the Princess to stay put. Then I had to calmly explain to him that I understood he was excited for an amazing event to happen! He was just watching in amazement. (They fall in love with it so young)

The next day came and he said, " Oh no, not again...It growed."

OMG! What?! UGH! UGH! My girlfriends tell me it's natural, it's normal, but please so young,
and he's aware. No wonder men are so wrapped up there and make sure it's still there all the time. It starts so early.

I have to tell you all that I told this to the pediatrician yesterday when I took him for an appointment for an ear infection. I was laughed right out of the room. I felt like an idiot. Ok so it's normal, but jeez....! I had to share that. It's an almost daily thing now. I'm going with it and not making a big deal out of it. I am the daughter of hippies..so it shouldn't be that big of a thing for me to be open, right. LOL. Ugh...but still.

TTFN,
C
SORRY FOR THE TMI (too much information)

Theme Day...

Let me begin by saying this is a little rant with tons of sarcasm!

My husband came up behind me as I was doing laundry and folding (I don't fold t shirts the right way, btw) and said, "You know hunny we should have Theme Days."

I thought wow, he's feeling good. What would you think? I start thinking to myself Margarita Monday, Taco Tuesday, Wine Wednesday, Throw it on the grill Thursday, F--- Friday, you get my drift...lol.

Oh no.....he wasn't even thinking like that.

He was thinking more on the line Monday Spiderman's laundry, Tuesday Princess Laundry, Wed. HM Princess Laundry...etc. I was just livid.

What a stupid fucking theme day. It seems that with all the trying, I just don't seem to be cutting it these days. I don't know. Ugh. How did SuperWoman lose her powers and become a mere mortal. :) I have given up the perfection and hubby says he likes me this way, but with Theme day comments you can tell he Craves for Super Woman, once again.

LOL...Men! I wish they would just make up their mind. Oh and let me just say...I'm supposed to remember that tons of women would love to have my life and not to work or have to worry about money...so Theme Day shouldn't be that hard to fit back in. LOL....what a f-ing man. UGH! He's not a dick, but when I type it and read it back it does come out dick like..LOL.

Happy Wine Wednesday!

Just call me Tink!

Tinkerbell


Who 's Your Inner Sexy Cartoon Chick ?
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I have nothing left today, but my Gratitude...

I've been pondering the whole day. So much has gone through my mind. I need to look forward. That's why my Gratitude Entries (GEs) are going to help me get moved me passed this place.

I am grateful for ......
Knowing how to love.
Having been loved.
Knowing I can cry.
My heart feels everything.
My friends love me. XOXO
Love,
C

Spiderman , Paper, and Tivo...

First of all I've been up since 5:45, because Spiderman woke up wet! He was so upset because he was wearing the favorite Spiderman outfit, the one with the webs under the arms. So, after I managed that crises asleep....I realized he was asleep in the Spiderman sleeping bag on the floor with the Spiderman pillow. Yes, I know...we have a theme going. The good thing ...he went to sleep. Bad thing...I was up!!!!!!!!

Screw Super Woman..., yeah I know!

Ugh!

After I put the dog out and put the pot of coffee on, I went out and grabbed the paper. Ever since moving here from San Diego I have been known to talk about things "back in California." Yes, those of you who know me are shaking your head....not you Christie..LOL. Shut up. Ok, so none of you will be surprised when add yet another thing. "Back in California" we at least have a good newspaper! Here are some headlines from today's paper...:

Gospel gathering gives nod to youth
Post office asks for 39 cent stamp
Baptists to take the street for Christ....
Thank God the Pope was ,given an above the fold story about the funeral.
My rant is over. This is Nashville...not the back woods...get a paper!

Thank God for Tivo! That's all I can say. I know I'm a geek, but at 5:45 this morning at least I got to choose between the Pope's funeral, Camilla and Charles, a plethora of Law and Orders, a 30 minute meal , Oprah, or General Hospital. Yep...I chose smut and Camilla and Charles. I'll never change.

BTW...Spidey is now up eating waffles that I have now made and my priceless TIVO is playing Backyardigans from yesterday! Woohoo for some more stolen moments for the Mommy. Kelsey is still sleeping. Ava just called to tell me she stayed up until the morning at the sleep over and she wants Lucky Charms. Ok, Princess...noted.

Mmmm...Now off to some coffee and my hillbilly suberb paper! Gotta love it.
Love,
C

No more hibernating...and cute shoes...

Well, I seem to have found my blog, once again. I guess I've been in a funk and have wanted nothing more than than to hibernate. Ok, it didn't help. Writing helps.

I've decided...when in a mood...I'm just going to write what I'm grateful for. Remember Oprah's famous "Gratitude Journal"? That's what I'm going to do if nothing comes to mind.

We'll see...lol.

I'm sipping coffee. Sammy is watching Blue's Clues. I had a sweet mani and pedi yesterday...and they are looking hot. Something needed to look hot so I thought..mani and pedi time. The sandals are in full gear.

Note to girls....shoes are a great pick me up. I know most of us totally get this, but trust me there are some out there clueless. I bought these adorable pink flipflops, with pink rhinestones on the V toe slide.! They made my day! Try it sometime . I dare you!

PS... Richard Steinacher you are on my mind today. How is your life? I miss you, if you can believe it. It's been years and years, but I guess you always love your first love. I figured if you ever Googled yourself you'd see this. Be well my old friend. Say hi if you ever decide to.

There are my thoughts for the morning.
XOXO,
Christie

Lovely Friday...

It's so gorgeous today! I love that Spring is here, happiness is in the air...and we are on the last day of Spring Break! We may have the weekend, but Monday is a few days around. LOL. This week has showed me that I better get plans together for Summer! Note to everyone... Summer is around the corner.

YMCA...Here I come!

Happy weekend!

Spring is in the air...

...and so are the allergies..! :)

Seriously, though...I love this time of year. Tennessee has blooming trees, just another one of the many things different than California. Since I'm not used to it Claritin has become my best friend this time of year.

The kids are officially bored on "Spring Break." "Mommy...I'm bored." Ugh...I better do some serious planning for summer. That's all I can think of.

The fun for today is that we're going to see the Robots! It 's a good outing and the little ones are excited. So, Mommy to the rescue for the "Boredom!"

Happy Springy Wednesday!
Christie

Yes this is true...

My sweet girl is feeling much better. She's in pain, but not feeling like she'll keel over any minute. At least she's at school and the kidney is functioning! Besides the pain being gone, I can't ask for anything else right now. She's back to being 10 going on 16...so we know she's feeling better.

Now for the drop your jaw part. My dad, who I haven't seen since I was 4, called me this week! I'm going to let him back into my life and I want him back in my life. Go figure.

Life is to short for all the crap we create. He wants nothing but to love me. He wanted me all these years. Whatever the problems between he and my mom...they both are happy we're all going to get along now.

So, I'm back and on fire...XOXO.

And life goes on...
Christie

Sleep...what's sleep....

I wish I could figure out how to sleep through the night and why my cough is back!

I've spent my week at the hospital or on the phone getting help for my daughter and it's just so hard here in Nashville. We're out of our comfort zone of San Diego or DC with doctors we know. Most of the time we're used to people bitching about insurance, but this time it's the insurance company is willing to help in any way they can. Ugh. It's exhausting.

Ok...good stuff...is there anything good?

I have sold some new items from my product line and they seem to be a hit. I love it. I'm not freaking out about the kidney like I normally would have in the past and I seem to be holding it together. I'm being grateful for the easy things in life these days and for how blessed I am.
Deep breath...
XOXO
C

Aaahhhh the house is empty and quiet...

I know it's a fleeting moment, but I'm taking it. I can kind of hear them outside, but I'm still in peace. The husband is outside hunting for the "damn" dog who broke out a little while ago...lol.I hope he feels my pain. That dog...lol.

Ok, the weekend has been easy. The kids are feeling better. I'm knocking on wood as I type. Ugh...lol. No more sick kids. No more sick kids. No more sick kids.

I hope everyone is feeling well. We're doing well. I've just been told patience are running thin on the dog. My poor dog. This state just doesn't believe in fences. It makes me crazy. After the urologist for my oldest the next call will be to Invisible Fence to get it adjusted.

XOXO
C

Today is another day...

Well my new mantra is "Tomorrow is another day."

Good things are happening...

Princess is feeling better!!!!!! If nothing else was happening...that is all that I would need

Princess #2 is Reading! Now let me fill you in that I "motivated" her. I told her that I'd get her a little something if she memorized her sight words! Of course she chose a mansion doll house with accessories! She is totally my daughter.

Spiderman is totally done with the flu and pink eye! Woohoo!

So as you can see things are going well! Today has been a new day and tomorrow is a new one as well. I'm staying positive.
XOXO
C

The kidney...

Well, my daughter's kidney (only kidney) has come out from hiding and the pain is back. After so many surgeries you'd think all of us would just be immune to the doctor visits, but no. Tensions were hi from everyone this morning....except my precious daughter who's a trooper.

I need to take a lesson in grace from my daughter.

XOXO
C

Joys of my children....

"Let's look for a Maltese Mommy"

That's how my morning started. Then I looked at my face in the mirror only to jump back , not recognizing the face looking back at me. Not only was I unable to see from the eyes swollen shut....my hands seems to be swollen up as well. What the hell was in that Guacamole?! The eyes are from the Pink Eye my lovely Spiderman (son) gave me. My throat is only slightly scratchy. LOL. Ok, enough bitching..lol...uh yes.

I have so much work to do today, because I have 3 shows coming up and hopefully tons of orders. We need to get Samples made and our brochures started. Yep..lots of work. Ok, so I felt like I negleged my blog so I'm caught up for the morning and don't feel so tired today. Yes, I've been sleep deprived with the kids. Up all week. I slept in until 7:30! Woohoo! LOL. Gotta Love it!
xoxo
C

Things are looking better...

It's about 4ish and I'm thinking of making a cup of coffee to get me through the witching hour.
The kids seem to be feeling better, as I haven't had to clean throw up, up for a few hours now. That's always a good thing. The little one's pink eye is looking better, so I think we're on the road to feeling better.

I just need a little cup of coffee, try and figure out dinner (we have the don't wants), and I think I'll perk up.

These little ones bring home all the fun little buggies from school. Got to love it. I just want them to feel good and I want to not have to clean up any more throw up. :)

XOXO
C

Wow.....I Never Cease To Amaze Myself!

It's been a crazy few days. I woke up this morning to sick babies. One has the tummy flew and the other has a serious case of pink eye. Needless to say, we're in for the day. I'm sitting here in jammies and sipping coffee needing a perk me up after a few crappy days.

My soul is feeling soooooo low. I know today is a new day and I'm starting it fresh. So, when I saw the "lover" quiz...I laughed. Ok, why not. Let's see what it says about this Jammie clad mommy.

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires. And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek. You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships. It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Just one of those days...

It's just one of those days. I feel crappy. I wanted to use one of my fun moods to say crappy, but it's a toilet picture and that is gross. So, sad it is. I just feel like life is kicking my ass right now. I'm not hiding anymore and expressing my real feelings have taken a toll.

I'm feeling lonely and sad. I hate the way this feels. It's not about me, though. I hope this gets better. Life goes on.

I'm a lucky girl...

I hope you all had a wonderful day yesterday...

After I spent the morning making cupcakes for the kindergarten class...I was off to the park with my boy. We spent some good Mommy son time and it was sweet.

That afternoon the girls got home and we looked through all their Valentine's from school. They were so cute. I remember back to the days of opening cards in elementary school and how fun it was. We just had so much fun. They loved it. They were so sugared up.

I made a wonderful Valentine Dinner and In walked the hubby with all my favorites. I received the most beautiful roses...every stem was perfect, the Notebook DVD....and yummy yummy chocolate. So, it was a great night.

I hope you all enjoyed it, too.
XOXO
C

Happy Valentine's Day...

Mmmmm....Valentine's Day.

I love this day. We spent today getting ready for tomorrow and celebrating a birthday. It's a birthday month, Valentine's and I love this month. Spring is around the corner. We spent the day working on Valentine cards for school tomorrow. I made birthday cake and the birthday boy wanted my special nachos for dinner.

I love pink roses.
I love romance.
I love sweet music.
I love the way my sweet children look when they make me Valentine cards.

Love is sweet.....

What is sleep?

I don't think I've slept well in weeks. I have this throat thing going that is just bothering me to no end. It's so bad that I can't sleep flat on my back at night without hacking. It's just horrible. Ugh!

I've been Web Mding all the symptoms (I'm a Web MD junkie) and I'm thinking it's Evensomething seriously more than allergies. The doctor thinks so, too. So, off to the EN&T I go. I just want to sleep. Surprisingly...I'm not what I would call a grump a lump. I'm a functioning Mommy.

The kids are in overdrive tonight running and jumping on each other. I just glanced over at them and one wants the other to swing him by his legs! The joys of my little ones. LOL.
Never ever a dull moment. That and it's 5:3o and this woman doesn't have a clue what's for dinner.
Bye for now...
C

I can see it now...

For those few of you that read my ramblings you know I NEVER get political. Here I go.

I can see it now. Just when Iraq is winding down and all the wives are finally breathing a sigh of relief.....and we think our husbands may be home more than 6 months in a row......here comes Iran.

Iran.

I don't feel good about it. I don't feel good at all. When will it end? Ugh. I've been living it for years now and it just gets worse. The deployments are never ending. My little ones just miss their dad. My husband is a Major in the USMC. Regardless of your war stance....we can all agree....this is horrible on the children.

Ugh...ok...there are reasons why I don't go into political mode. I have to hold myself back. I can be a screaming liberal on some things....and be conservative on others. LOL...that's why this chickie chooses all the fluff to go on about.

XOXO TTFN,
C

Ahhhhh.....this is where my blog is...

I guess I forgot where to find my Blog. LOL

My brain has been somewhere else lately and on so many things. I've had the birthday girl this week and it seems in our family it's your birthday all month. How lucky for them..lol! Boxes from the Grandmas arrive, followed by cards with money, and then dinner of their choice (Chuck E Cheese, of course.) So, it's been busy busy for the Mommy.

It's Super Bowl Sunday!!!! When did it become February?! I'll be cooking "Football Food" a little later. Everyone is looking forward to that. If any of you have had that Chile's Queso dip they serve...(the restaurant)...I make a better one. So, the kids are dying for it. Mommy is it time for football yet. LOL. Ugh....no. It's an all day thing I think today.

I see a little blue outside, too. Very nice! What a nice Sunday!
Happy Sunday!
Christie

Sooooo Not a Loser...

I guess I'm Not a Loser! Good To Know! :)

My sweet friend....

My sweet H you're in my thoughts and heart today. I cry with you at your loss of your sweet miracle. I can't believe we were just rubbing your tummy the other day. I ache for you. I love you my sweet soul sister.

You are in my prayers tonight and always hunny.
Love and your friend always ,
Christie

Too busy for my blog...????

I was too busy being Mommy to remember to blog. Either that, or I had nothing exciting going on. Actually...I've been working my little business, stuck inside during the cold with the little ones this weekend, and uhhhh I'm sure a few more things thrown in there. Not that anyone cares.

The Summer is looking better and better. My workouts are feeling sooo awesome! My body is feeling good. My muscles are tightening up and I'm getting ready for that suit!

Wooohoo!

Happy Friday

I'm feeling so good this morning. It's a happy Friday and I'm looking forward to a birthday party tonight for one of my little ones at Build a Bear Workshop. I'm sipping some yummy coffee. I just did a little morning yoga, and I think I see a little sun through the dark clouds outside. We're supposed to get snow tonight and tomorrow. Ugh. Not just snow, but a thing called "Black Ice"! That scares me. It's freezing here. Oh well, I will stop at Costco and get some duraflames and I'll be set.

The loss of my friend...sometimes you have to set something free. I had to. It was toxic. It's sad, but time heals. I know it does.

XOXO
C

Loss...

Well, I've accepted the fact that I've lost My friend. My best friend isn't coming back and for that it breaks my heart. I get it, but it doesn't make it easier. My brain gets it, but I wish it would explain it to my heart.

I'm at a loss for words right now, because it finally hit me tonight. You know it's serious when I'm at a loss for words. Tomorrow is a new day.

XOXO
C

I'm ready for summer!

I'm ready for the sun! I want to feel it on my skin and feel the warmth streaming in the windows. The cold is too cold and I'm ready for it to be gone. In getting ready for the summer, I'm going to get ready the sandy beach vacation I know I'll be taking this year. LOL. So I'm going up in the work out schedule and beyond ready for the summer of fun! Yes I'm thinking ahead...lol, but it's worth it. I love the summer, the freedom it brings, the kids playing....all the fun.

I'll just keep the eye on the prize during these cold cold months. Ugh!

Ok, so I've been doing a little writing and figuring out the workings of my computer. I've become addicted to selling on ebay, too. I love it! I'm good at it. It's just been a relaxed few days. I'm sleeping better and realizing I might just be allergic to the winter dog hair of my dog..lol! So, my brand new canister vacuum (that's awesome) is helping me not cough so much! Woohoo. I was getting tired of being tired. If you know what I mean.

Well, I'm off to figure out dinner. I wish I had a great idea tonight, but I just don't. I'm a great cook...lol....but tonight, I'm soooo feeling like Chinese take out!
XOXO,
C

My favorite things today...

I woke up this morning and it was beautiful. Yes it was cold, but it was beautiful. I had to stay positive and I made a point to surround myself with some of my favoritie things. I got the kids to school by 7:40 and then it was my time.

• Yummy yummy coffee with cinnamon creamer
• A little CNN with hands wrapped around coffee
• Desperate Housewives on Tivo from the night before
• Lunch with my best friend
• Quick trip to Costco
• Candles lit during the afternoon ..... just because
• Afternoon herbal tea for the soul
• Mmmmm then the kids came home
• Now for more alone time as they're sleeping

How's that for a nice day of just pampering me. I really needed a Mani and Pedi, but I think I'll get that in tomorrow. :)
Love,
Christie

The Sweet Spot

Let me start by saying that I'm finally figuring out that this computer has a sweet spot with regards to the wireless web. It's crazy.

I've been downloading and posting things, only to get shut down and logged off halfway though. I wasn't sure if the post happened or what was going on. Now, I've figured out my wireless web and download manager. I'm still fried...not totally on fire. :)

I was told that the snow we got last night was only considered a dusting. Well, let me tell you that for a California girl, it was snow!

Happy Monday...
XOXO
C

A freezing Saturday night!

Well I think I miss California sooooo much this weekend. I miss the weather, if nothing else! It's so f-ing freezing here! It's 16 degrees outside right now! I can't even believe it. Yes, I realize we're not under 2 feet of snow, but I'm a California girl...this is waaaay too much for me, as it is. I'm sipping a little wine to warm up and the fireplace is toasty. Well I think I miss California sooooo much this weekend. I miss the weather, if nothing else! It's so f-ing freezing here! It's 16 degrees outside right now! I can't even believe it. Yes, I realize we're not under 2 feet of snow, but I'm a California girl. This is waaaay too much for me, as it is. I'm sipping a little wine to warm up and the fireplace is toasty.

Nothing happened today. The kids were wild, because we were inside with the cold and snowy dust outside. Note to you guys..just in case you come from the coast like me. If it's 20 outside and it' doesn't "look" too cold, it doesn't matter if you just got your coat back from the cleaners. Take it out in the rain/snow, because a sweatshirt and uggs don't do it from the car to the market. I thought I could make the 50 steps. LOL..I just about froze. I'm a wuss..I know.

Tomorrow I plan on being way more productive. At least all the laundry was done today. That's good. Tomorrow, will be better for all...hopefully we can get out and just have a little fun. So there's my blogging for an uneventful Saturday.
Happy Saturday night...xoxox,
C

Snow...

We're getting a little dusting of snow today. It's a lazy cozy day at home. For all with kids you know that means wild kids inside..lol. "Mommy I'm Bored!" Explain to me how Dvds, an XBOX, Computers, Satellite Dish, and toys upon toys can cause children to be bored..lol!

Clueless!

XOXO, C

My Kryptonite

I'm having a little Blackstone Merlot, which my husband calls my Kyrptonite. He loves it! Since I am the recovering "Superwoman" I lose all my powers with it! He gives me a little Kyrptonite and I'm a live one! The thing is I'm not a big drinker, but I love this wine! I sip and sip and before you know it....wild "Ruby Christie" see the gem quiz..LOL!

My mind turns to mush even with a little glass...lol...I've got a great yummy dinner cooked and who forgets to push the baked potato button?! Ahhh that would be me..LOL.

So, I guess I'll put my being upset aside and sip the kryptonite because I want to lose a little of myself tonight.

What's your kryptonite?...LOL Whatever it is...I hope it's good! If you know what I mean jelly beans.....:)


XOXO
C

Being Creative!

Well, I'm trying to get a little website together for my small business. It's a specialty gift business. I thought I could come up with a small site to show my product line and it's something I've been wanting to add to the business for a while. I've read about putting it together. A simple little cute website, for a small product line....but something that looked upscale...not hokey.

How hard could it be?! I'm a smart one! LOL! Ha!

Well, It's a pain in the ass! I can do many things, but this stuff gets me so frazzled. I just want something basic and hosted on a site. The hosting site says it's easy to put together with the templates they have. Is this crap or is it possible? Frustration baby is all I can say.

So deep breath and I am stepping away from the computer!!!! This is why I work the business and keep putting off he damn website. LOL. I know Iknow...I should just pay someone to do it.
TTFN, C

Happy Thursday....

A little yoga...a little coffee....mmmmm what a nice morning...!

Yummy....

I had just had the yummiest latte!

I just started some great writing, too. That's right, the writer is finally doing it. I can't believe my fingers! The emotions that flow from them and with such passion. I love writing.

There's so much to say and so much I'm feeling. I find such safety, healing, laughter, and love in writing.

XOXO
Christie

The art of loving...

Have you ever loved and been lied to so blatenly that you wondered if you knew that person at all? I've been pondering love and honesty the last few weeks. The 7th sense if you're wondering. I've given my love so freely in my lifetime. It's precious. I have been loved...loved deeply, been loved deeply....and hope to understand the ache of this all someday. Then,someone comes along and you smile again. I want my friends to remember this. Happiness is possible. I promise. Believe....Believe...Believe.....
Love , Christie
Did this make any sense...lol..if not...oh well. I'll try again tomorrow. :)

Oh Baby!

What a weekend! As I sit here looking back on a long holiday weekend here are some things I'm left thinking about.

• Time really is our friend and hearts do heal....
• Pink really is my favorite color
• Thanks to my kick ass new vacuum and special allergen stuff for the bedroom...i'm not coughing!!!!!!!! Wooooohooooo!!!!!
  
• I was at Costco here in Nashville and women were wearing Furs! Come on!
  
• My kids are awesome and I love being a mommy even if they are early morning risers
• I sure could go for a little getaway spa right about now.....:)
  

My Boy...

My 4 year old boy and the word Fart! Ugh! I mean...the amount of times it comes out of his mouth, you'd think fart was a word used in every other sentence in this house. Along with Fart, there comes burping. For a young, handsome, cute, little 4 yearold.....he can burp like a teenager. Ugh, again! LOL. I come from a family of girls. My oldest two are girls. This is all new to me.

I was complaining to a friend of mine regarding his potty mouth. She asked me, "Isn't it nice to know that Sam is developmentaly on track?" LOL...Lots of 4 year olds do this!!!!!! All I can say is It's a nature thing. That, and I'm sure he likes to see his sisters get disgusted when he lets one go.

Well, there is my nice little yummy missive for the night! Fart talk. Yeah, and that gem quiz thought I was a Ruby....a hot passionate sexy on fire woman....lol! The quiz didn't include how much fart talk we had to listen too. :) Too funny!

Buying a computer with a man...

Who out there has ever bought a computer with a man? Wlell, if you haven't lately, let me tell you..lol...it's quite the experience. LOL. We went out for a nice little outing yesterday. I don't even think we went looking for a computer. I think it was just a little trip for furniture shopping..lol..good female stuff. Then we walked through some "Great Deals."

Let me begin by saying that hubby is quite the money manager. We live a great life, but with three kids, house, two cars, dog, investments, and his quicken budget not too far from his mind, ever...we don't "Splurge" to just splurge. We have two computers, but the hard drive went on his little Toshiba and we just needed to get a new one, "i guess"..?lol. Well we found a new Toshiba and it was awesome. Built in wireless and awesome great price. Ok, Ok. We went to dinner and thought about it. So I said fine go back and get it.

So my money miser who has me on an "allowance" because I'm the shopper goes in and buys his computer. I kept them busy and he was off on his mission. We found the arcade games that the kids are attracted to like white on rice and it's mildly disturbing to the mommy. Games with guns, grown ups playing the video games....ugh. I kept telling myself he'd only be a few more minutes.

Finally, there he came towards me. I couldn't believe myh eyes. It couldn't be. Oh no...if you could have just seen his face and his arms. He bought TWO computers. He had this smile. His answer to my unasked question...lol..."Hunny, but it was such a fucking great deal." Well, he can question my drive through practices for a diet coke, but hell an extra laptop at a great price. LOL...What the hell.

So, I won't complain. I am typing my Sunday morning blog and drinking my yummy coffee with my new wireless laptop on my warm couch, instead of the chilly bonus room upstairs. :)
Chow friends..
XOXO
C

Just a few Saturday thoughts....

As I sit here, coffee in front of me, kids playing Xbox, it dawns on me that my hormones kicked my ass this past week! For those of you that think that this is TMI (too much information) I'm sorry. LOL. It's soooo true. I have no idea what happened to me. Whew, what a roller coaster. I'm so glad it finally stopped and I'm off.

I'm back to enjoying the little things. Yesterday was super Christie in action. We woke up at 7:15 and the bus comes for the kids at 7:35. That's right. Mad dash for the door. Amazing Mommy into action. We did it. I just had to drop the lunches at school.

Then for the hard stuff...it seems I get to take the calls for one friend who's hubby has been cheating on her for years and one friend who's been cheating on her hubby for years. It's quite draining! All of that and I don't get paid! LOL! I laugh, but it's not funny. I guess that's why my hormones kicked my ass and layers of sadness. Ugh. Life isn't easy is it?

I swear All women should have to read the book "He's Just Not That Into You"!!!!!! I read it and all my friends have talked about it. Where was that book when we were young..in college...our developmental years. For all of my friends who are looking, married, not married...read it...study it....a man's opinion would be great too. It's a great great great book! All the wasted time we women have spent on men. I've tried to tell this to my friends. Take all that energy and turn it to good stuff for themselves! That's where my book writing comes in, my little business...Good stuff for me. :)

I'm sooooo rambling this morning. I know. I'm in a good spot and just being reflective.
XOXO,
C

Ahhhh...

It was just a good old fashioned rainy nice boring day! I hung out with my girlfriend, had lunch, went to yoga, and just relaxed. How's that for nice. :) It feels good to just take it a nice quiet day at a time and be quiet and still for a change. I wrote so much today that fingers were thinking for me. Soooo cathartic. With that...I'll say good night.
Have a great day tomorrow....Sweet dreams friends..
Xoxo
C

It's safe to enter the Christie zone!

The Pms has subsided. The hormones seem to be intact and if I could...I'd type all the reasons my poor brain couldn't shake the fuzz. For now, let's just say all the vitamin Z in the world couldn't lift my spirits from the pity party I was having. lol. Ok, so I had a really good cry. I wrote a ton...and I'm feeling better. I'm feeling like I'm back to a small dose of me, at least. At least I believe in happiness...I dream...I smile...and I'm an optimist. All of those things are important. I can love...I've loved...I've been loved...and life goes on.
xoxo
C

Breathe....just breathe......

I'm pretty far in....I'm working on getting out. So much is inside of me and I just wish I could get it all out free and clear...I wish. So, I'm trying to figure it out. Like the song says..I'm cradling my head in my hands and just breathing. I like the freight train metaphor(thanks F) there are days I, too, feel like that with the three kids. I am one woman working through the nooks and crannies of this brain and heart.

I'm thinking we brought the bad weather from the west coast with out home. We're getting tons of rain today. It is nice, though, to have the kids tucked away in school enjoying the day with their friends.

I'm going to work on my writing a little today and pamper myself. Yes, I know...quite the life and really nothing to complain about. It's just that I'm working on finding the good spot of me. You know? Ok, so coffee in hand, dog snuggled up taking a nap, house sweet and quiet (yes cozy too), nice candles burning, and me....I'm going to write. Bye friends.. I don't mean to sound so pathetic..lol. Where else but my little blog can I write this. ugh...lol...by all means please read past my blabber if you must..:) See what happens when Superwoman gives up her cape! Oh yeah...and I've been told Blackstone Merlot is my Kryptonite!
XOXO
C

Aaaaahhhhhh.......

Ok, let's see. I think I need to get out tomorrow. All three of them are going to be in school and I need to go out and walking for miles. That sounds sooo good. I'm planning it right now. After I take the little one to preschool I think I'll grab the dog and just walk. It's so nice right now. I better do it before the "January Snow" we usually get here. I just need to walk and think and be. I'm such a woman. I need to take all the energy my brain uses and put it to good use. LOL. Ok, sounds like a plan. I hope I sleep tonight. I haven't been sleeping at all. I know it's because of the fuzzy brain and over thinking, but I'm trying to just soothe the the sould tonight and relax. Some spooning would do the trick.
XOXO
C

luv & kisses...

Just a little right about now....deep breath. My best friend...my love....the ache....and how I'm missing it sooo much right now.

Longest Sunday on Record..

After the kids were fed, the coffee was being sipped, the paper was being read...and I was feeling soooooo PMSy. LOL. The joys of being a woman. You know, I realize this is TMI, but UGH! I just feel so tired. The kids are oh so full of energy and I could just easily spend the weekend curled in front of the fireplace watching movies and sipping hot herbal tea. Well, that would be nice for a single woman. LOL...then if I were single I'd be home wishing for the kids house dog love...lol. Such is life. Ok, so I need to fill out the invitiations for the bday party and I still haven't got that one totally figured out, yet. When did 10 become too old for Chuck E Cheese? When did a parent wish for Chuck E Cheese vs a Party that included a trip to the Mall? LOL. UGH. :) The joys of girly girls. I guess I am getting a taste of a piece of me. It's fun, though. I'm off to find Tylenol. My head is a little achey right now. TTNF Friends...
XOXO
C

! You are Most Like A Ruby !
Passionate, in control - and very sexy. You tend to
be more dominant, and people long to possess your
wild nature. People find you fun, and a real live
wire.
You're most like a Ruby because people simply can't
take their eyes away from you - your bright
captivating
nature draws people to you.
Congratulations ... You're the sparkly fun gem
everybody craves.


?? Which Precious Gem Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla 

Motivated Me...

Well, the coffee is yummy this morning and I'm motivated. I'm doing a little work this morning, the house is toasty, and I'm working on getting things organized after 2 weeks of being gone. My oldest turns 10 next week and I can't believe it! We're planning the girly big 10 party! Am I old enough for a 10 year old going on 15. LOL. Ugh..I guess so. My soon to be 6 year old (a few weeks after that) is planning an even more pink party. Sammy, aka Spiderman, is just hanging out. He's just content to be 4 and Spiderman. He's got his webshooter glove in hand and dvd in hand. LOL. Life is good and these moments just fly by. Today, I'm sure I'm going to be told it's boring about 20 times, but that's ok. I'm good at saying that boring is just fine. LOL. This mommy/recovering Superwoman (notice the propensity towards superheros in family) needs a little boring right about now. All right, I'm on to a little Ebay fun. TTFN my friends. Mmmm a little Starbucks sounds yummy, but that would require me venturing out in the wet cold and piling the children in the car...well maybe not that good..lol.
XOXO,
C

Home is soooo nice!

It's so nice here right now! Even though we got home and somehow there is something wrong with the blower on the heater (maybe that's not what you call it..lol) so it's chilly, but it's nice to be home! Tomorrow when it's fixed and my house is cozy warm...mmmm, then we'll be set. I wasn't complaining, though, with the kids in school today as I was bundled in the peace and quiet of my little haven. :)
TTFN
XOXO
C

Happy Monday!

It's Monday evening and I'm feeling like I'm ready to go home to my cozy home! I'm glad I didn't bury my head yesterday, because today was a good one. I worked on some little projects and I'm looking at adding some new samples to my line when I get home. We'll see. My creative juices are working overtime. :) So, that's a good thing. Well, until later....TTFN...

XOXO, C

New Year...New Thoughts...

I'm stronger than I think I am on the long days. Today I wanted to curl up and sink into the couch and pull a quilt over me to cover my head from the world. I didn't. I couldn't. I would have felt good, though. My heart aches. My brain is sore. My kids are running around going a little stir crazy waiting for the snow to fall. No curling up and hiding from the world from me today. As a matter of fact, no hiding for a while. I'm feeling good right now and sometimes just going forward with the day, even when it feels crappy is the thing I most need to do. January 2, 2005...A new day. ....And life goes on...

XOXO C

Aaaahhhhh Almost New Year! Happy New Year!

Well, It's almost offically New Year! It's been a busy long day preparing for a small gathering tonight at my Mother-in-law's. I've been up forever, and I've managed to make it and made it a fabulous day. I've fit it some wonderful shopping, picking up some great sweaters and finding sales sales sales! The kids got to ring in the new year at 10 with New York and are sound asleep now....and this woman is tired.

For 2005 I will work on writing more. I will want to not be 5 minutes late anymore. I will expect more in the TLC department. I worth so much more and I get it now. :)

To my friends...I wish you Peace, Love and Happiness.

Stir Crazy...

Well, the kids are going a little stir crazy. So is the husband. Mix the kids and the hubby crazy what does that equal...you've got it...one edgy woman. Ugh. Can't they just all get along. lol Isn't that the old phrase from our past. I guess the thing is I could use a little TLC. I give all the loving all the taking care of, all the kisses, all the multitasking, and I need a little snuggling and little TLC. Ok, that a nice Starbucks latte right about now to keep the eyes open. Happy New Year's friends. XOXO, C

When is too early to make the coffee!

It's 4:30 and I'm up! When is too early to make the coffee. Will I be able to sleep for another 2 hours? Am I up for good. Am I just feel a little fuzzy today? Should I just make the damn coffee...lol?! Ugh..lol! Ok I'll stick with the tea until 6:30, then I'll make the coffee. With problems like mine we should all be so lucky...I know I know...xoxo C

Happy Happy New Year...

Happy New Year!!!! Can We believe it's 2005 tomorrow. I wish everyone a safe and happy night tonight a wonderful New Year! I'll have more to say as the day goes on, but for now Cheers!

Oh yeah baby...oh yeah!

I slept! Thank God for Nyquil! I slept for pretty much the whole night. I'm feeling sooo much better.

When did I become such a Mommy. LOL. I was watching Good Morning America yesterday morning and the topic was New Year's Eve Glam! Let me share my journal entry with you. "I soooo see my life full of Holiday 101 Glam right now." That's not saying that I'm boring, but Holiday Glam...lolWoW. LOL. Hmmm.....

Yes, I know, I'm not in the Tsunami and I have a great life....just a fun thought for the day.
XOXO
C

Just a little sleep...

Ok....A little sleep is all I ask for tonight. I am hoping that the nyquil wil kick my ass into submission and I will be flat on my back in minutes. I am so tired that I need sleep! This cough thing is starting to really become soooooo not what I need at 2 in the morning. My 5 year old hear's me and she runs to get me a glass of water and then we're both up. Cute...but not what we both need. Soooooooo, Fingers are crossed. Colorado is nice, but I miss my house and routine. The 5th is a long way off. Wow, what was I thinking with a 2 week vacation! LOL. :) Ok, well Happy New Year everyone...and maybe with some sleep I'll be my perky self tomorrow!
xoxo
C

Merry Christmas!

What a wonderful day it's been. My kids have been amazing. The mommy has been up since 3:30AM with the damn cough going. It's not even a cough...it's the damn tickle thing. However, once the kids got up...I just forgot I was sleep deprived. Spiderboy was all over his Web Glove hand thingy. Ava loved her baby and mini pack and play. Kelsey loved her Sims and music stuff. Soooooooo all in all Santa did well.

I cooked a kick ass Prime Rib dinner. The ooohs and aaaaahs made my night. I have the cooking down. Martha watch out. LOL. Tom was a little grumpy, but he's mellowing out finally.

Night night....and Merry Christmas to all....
Christie

White Christmas.....Very very very white....

Well, for a California girl...This is very White! It's snowing as I type. It's gorgeous. Snow...lol. Way to f-ing cold! One needs a whole need wardrobe for snow and to be a good looking snowbunny.

XOXO
C

Baby it's REALLY cold outside!

I thought Nashville was cold, well Denver is freezing! We flew here this morning at 6AM. That's right, we got the kids out of bed at 3:45 and into the car by 4:14 AM. We were on our A game this morning. The kids are tucked into bed and I'm getting ready to sip some tea. Oh yeah..I did have a few Ouzo shots to take the edge off..lol. Merry Christmas friends...until next time.
XOXO...
C

Last minute Christmas stuff...

Who else has last minute stuff to do?!!!!!! I have last minute shopping, packing, and kids home from school as I get it all together! Woohoo for me. :) My hubby even suggested I go to get the dog toys at PetsMart (because we're boarding him while we're away on vacation.) He then thought it would be "fun" to bring Reeses along! LOL...yeah really fun.

So, can you guess if the dog is coming to the dog store to buy him toys? Yeah that's right the answer is ahhhh no. :)

I need all this done by 6, because i'm going to see Spanglish tonight! I need a good chickflick with my friend!

XOXO
C

The list...

Just passing on the fun of "The List"...

Three names you go by:

1. Mommy
2. Christie
3. Xty

Thee screen names you have:

1. ThoughtsGalore
   
2. Calliecuti (aol)
   
3. ChristieL70 (yahoo)
   
   

Three things you like about yourself:

1. Sense of humor
   
2. Loving
   
3. Great hair!
   
   

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:

1. I hate my insecurities
2. My doubts
3. Always being 5 minutes late!
   

Three parts of your heritage:

1. Irish
2. Italian
3. Redneck north carolina from the biological father (totally don't mention it....lol)

Three everyday essentials:

1. Love and kisses from the hubby and kids.
2. Coffee and coffee
3. My vitamin Z...lol!

Three things you are wearing right now:

1. Velour Red soft V neck sweatshirt
2. Matching pants...totally comfy
3. That's it....and a cute smile! LOL

Three favorite Bands/Artists (at the moment)

1. Goo Goo Dolls (love them...everything)
   
2. Dinana Anaid (Love Her...check her out..you'll love her!)
3. Anna Nalick (New and awesome) Girly reflective mode
   

Three favorite songs at the present:

1. Baby it's cold outside. From Elf.
2. Breathe . Anna Nalick
3. Diana Anaid. Last Thing.
   

Three things I'd like to try in the next 12 months:

1. Doing a half marathon
2. Loving on my own terms
3. Hiking
   

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a giving):

1. Naked truth
   
2. Intimacy beyond bounds
3. Feel what I'm missing
   

Two truths and a lie:

1. I can fix almost anything in the house very handy.
2. I'm a total girly girl....high maintenace chick kind of woman.
3. My husband is soooooo handy...:)
   

Three physical things about the opposite sex that are appealing:

1. Face
2. Arms
3. Ass
   

Three things you can't do:

1. I suck at math
2. I can't reach the highest shelves in the cabinets
3. I can't be mean to people on purpose.
   

Three favorite hobbies:

1. Yoga
2. Writing
3. Reading
   

Three careers you're considering:

1. My business...get it fourishing-specialty gifts
2. Writer
3. Realtor
   

Three kids' names, either boy or girl:

1. Kelsey
2. Ava
3. Sam - my three little ones

Three things I want to do before I die:

1. Really live and love
2. Write a wonderful book
3. Watch my kids live amazing lives...
   How fun to write it all out!

XOXO C

Baby it's cold outside...

We've been watching Elf here this weekend. I love the "Baby it's cold outside" with Will and Zooey. Mmmm Love it! I love the song, but they're so sweet! It's the song on the brain!

And Baby....it's cold outside. :)

XOXO
C

Aaaaahhhhhhh....

Just Breath......

What a concept.....

XOXO....
C

Fa la la la la la la la la....

The Christmas cards are out! Pictures are in there! Whew! I feel good. My sweet youngest angel woke me up at 4am-ish so I just got out of bed and finished them up.

I think the Christmas spirit has entered my body! LOL.

Christie...Stay away from Target! lol...

XOXO...C

Sex and the PDA

Now that the hubby is back from IRAQ I have noticed a few things. He still bugs me with leaving the toilet seat up (something I had my 4 year old trained to put down, but now that's shot to hell.) He also does keep track of the sex on his PDA. So, ladies...we had this topic up once before. My huband can tell you time and place by looking at his PDA of our sex life..LOL! Is it the engineer brain...or just a control thing. YUCK!

Just thought I'd pass it on. He gave me his old one and I thought....what can I keep track of on it that would piss him off about....lol. Hmmmm.....:)
XOXO

thoughts of the night

• i love my tivo
  
• i watch general hospital every single night when the kids go to bed
  
• i change ring tones on my phone at least once a day
  
• i'm a screaming liberal
  
• i'm naughty underneath it all
  
• i love slim jims
  
• blackstone merlot is my favorite
  
• of course desperate housewives tivo'd watched monday morning with a cup of coffee
  
• i haven't done any of my christmas shopping
  
• none of my christmas cards are out
  
• !!!!!!!!!!
  
• i'm craving a rubio's fish taco
  
• i miss san diego
  
• i miss my house
  
• i miss my sl
  
• i miss my place in the world
  

Giving..

I love to give. Looking outward is a great way to forget your worries. So, here's to looking outward and remembing others. Even if the heart is off kilter, and you're not sure what you're doing...just remember your loved ones and take care of them this season. Give yourself some kindness and love, too....tea, a good book, a funny movie or a nice body massage. Love is the word...and the giving princess is at work..:)
XOXO
C

The music...

Out of the blue Norah came on. At first, I thought I'd hurl. I listened. I sucked it up. Wooohoo....I made it baby! I may be a recovering Superwoman, but I have the power.
So there! I did it! I'm healing and it feels oooooh so good. Baby steps. I can do it! Ladies, we can do it!
XOXO,
C

'Tis the season....

What a year. My beautiful children are so excited about Christmas. We're busy getting the teacher's gifts ready for the parties this week and next. I remember back to when I was their ages. I loved Christmas. I remember the smells of the tree, the anticipation of Santa, and the wonderment of it all. I love helping that come to life for the kids.

xoxo
C

The laughter of kids...lol...

I'm sitting here trying to write and figuring out my thoughts. I make it sound as if I'm having such as cathartic experience. It seems, for a moment, a semi-serious moment. Then from the stairs behind me comes the steps of little feet and the flash light. I hear them. I smile. The ballon come sailing in. "Oooooh, Mommy farted," screamed the kids. THat's right. Just when I'm taking myself too seriously comes a silly blue balloon from the corner, my three cute little ones ready for bed and my son yelling, "Oooooh, you farted."

GOT TO LOVE THEM! I soooo do! Boys and the word Fart..lol! That's a whole other discussion!

I'll smile until I feel it!

Damsel no more!

This picture isn't to advertise me! It's just to say..here I am! I'm smiling until I feel it! Ugh!!!!!!!! I'll start to feel it soon enough!

And I'm finally feeling it!!!!! Wooohoooo!

Happy Monday!

What a wonderful Monday! There isn't even a hint of sarcasm in that. The damsel is gone and I'm feeling pretty damn good today. I wore my little fingers out this weekend with all my writing this weekend!!! Woohoo. I'm soooo back and you know life is great. Writing is soooo cathartic. I'm even working the business! So, as I type I'm sipping some yummy coffee listening to my music and planning my day. Amazon is calling my name. Orders are waiting..lol....!
XOXO C

Flowing fingers today...

I'm not sure if it's the coffee, the fingers or the fast me today. I'm thinking it's a little high mixed in with some flowing fingers. My fingers have ideas I didnt' even know were there! I'm focused, though, and the writing is great. Yesterday, I could have used a dose of this pep. We know how it flows, though. :)

Sipping Coffee and Staying Warm..

It's a rainy chilly morning. The kiddies are all off to school and I'm figuring out the holidays. Kindess and generosity is the order of the day.

Warm and Cozy...

Today I'm feeling warm and cozy. It's a good day. I started thinking too much and then turned the tunes up and the mood changed. Life is good and so am I .

Now, I just have to figure out dinner.
xoxo
C

love..

Working on my writing...Way better to have loved and be left with a pain so unbearable you think that your heart is burn from the pain...than to have just lived without that love.
PS...sugar is my enemy..lol

Hmmm a thought...

I'm taking all this icky energy and grief I heaped on myself and use the energy for good stuff. I pulled out all the Christmas decorations. (a good weekend behind) I have the list of stuff organized for purchasing this week. Here's a great thought...If I can deal with the junk..I can handle the purging of sugar! Woohooo! I'm a woman on a mission. I can do it! I gave up Diet Coke, Sugar is next. XOXO C

Maybe some "SPIRIT HANDS"..?!

Well, my coffee is tasting yummy this morning. I'm sitting here waiting for the Z to kick in, because lord knows I need it. I don't think I've slept in days. Let me clarify. I've slept...but not well. I'm aching inside. I'm hanging in, though, and looking forward to Christmas. I'm trying to figure out how to work through this and the baby steps suck. Besides the smiling, maybe I just need a good dose of "Spirit Hands"!!!!! Ok, I cracked myself up. I really to do miss the laughing.
XOXO C

Saturday to relax...

It's nice to know that relaxing Saturday's are still possible. Thank you friend for our chat this morning. It helped this morning after not sleeping last night. I hope tomorrow is another restful morning. The memories rush when I hold my coffee cup on some mornings but you helped this morning. XOXO C

My fingers are flowing...

The outline popped into my head at about 5AM this morning. I have the index cards on the table and I'm excited about it! I stopped for a while and got my girly girls off to school and then my cutie boy is sick. After a quick trip to the dr it turns out it's an ear infection. So a few numbing drops and anti B later...and he's resting.

I can't wait to get back to the cards! Index cards are soooo less manic than sticky notes. DR C would be so proud! LOL! Of course the cards are pink, though. There must be a sense of style in the writing, because it perks me up. XOXO C

All I can say...

Today, on this chilly day, all I can say is that I'm trying. That's all I can do today. I can't quite dive into a self help book, but I'm not feeling numb today. That's a good thing. :)

And life goes on....
xoxo..C

It's Chilly....

Well I'm chilly! It's one of those cold ones today. I'm getting ready to bring the boy to school and then I have a day to myself! Woohoo! I'm even feeling pretty good today. Pretty good is better than miserable. My coffee isn't even tasting like cinnamon. I'm on a role. Maybe, I'll have better thoughts after I drop him off. I may even be able to type with punctuation on of these days..LOL! That is, if you're reading this and wonder why it's just a throwing up of words. It's the throwing up of my thoughts. The fingers are in charge...not my brain. Peace . XOXO C

Turn the music up!

Ok so this morning I just turned it up and let it go! Wow! How about that ..lol! I'm feeling better. I"m going to write my book. I'm going to figure out what I want. No more drama! No more waiting! I'm 34 and I'm not waisting another day! If my mom doesn't want to be here...I can't help that. I can only pray. When the missing happens and the ache and loser feeling comes over me I need to focus on something else...someone else's pain.

I'm going to turn the music up and smile until I feel it. Ugh...:)! Just remember hunny..he's just not that into you.

My Promise!

I ,Christie Eckelman Little, will no longer take anymore BULLSHIT! I will no longer be a DAMSEL! I will smile until I feel it when the time is needed....and I know life is good! So there! If nothing else, I owe that to me. I promise that to me. :)

Today is pretty good...thank god..
xoxo C

Ugh..

The voice I heard tonight wasn't who I knew. It was cold and angry. Sad and synical. Where's my friend, my love, my hunny? Was it all a dream? I guess it was. After almost 4 years I thought I deserved more. Then I heard her. I heard her voice crack. She had loved for 23. Ugh. Her pain is palpable. I feel it even now. I want to reach out and hug her. My selfishness has to be set aside, so she can move on.

That damn coffee....The tears just flow...I wish this weren't so hard.

I just miss my baby...I love my sl....I want it all back.

This I know...

Time is our friend. This too shall be ok someday. I never knew this kind of pain was ever going to be so raw inside of my heart. I never knew someone I opened my up my soul so freely too and showed my vulnerability too would just carelessly throw me away without a good bye. Someone with compassion said those words to me.

My happiness will come around and my heart will be filled again. I deserve that happiness. I just need to mend what I've helped broken.

It's Karma. I hurt. I've been hurt. What goes up will come down...The pain is raw...but it will ease....the peace will eventually find it's way.
Mmmm...a hug could really go so far right about now...
Hugs and kisses..C

The fingers have a final flow to get out!

Thank god for my sense of humor, my ability to laugh, my brain, my HEALTH, no b&p,....and most important my wonderful beautiful children! I have a beautiful home..the ability to do anything I choose, a thriving mind, and I have loved in my life. I have been loved. I am loved.

I need to remember all of that. Plus...my brain isn't so fuzzy..lol..and Dr.C isn't on speed dial. Things will be ok eventually. I just need to wrap my brain around it. I can do it! I can do it!
Love and kisses...C

Curves and more curves...

I'm working on the curves. I guess they're good? What the hell was I talking about yesterday? My tummy is in knots. The fingers know it all. The secrets, the good, the joy, the pain...the me I don't know if I"m sure I want to face. Hmm. Now there's a thought.

I'm afraid to write. I'm afraid to take a good hard look, but you know...the fear, the risk...that's when I've heard the greatest reward comes. Ugh! The throat is getting tighter!

Ok, so here's the thing. If I'm supposed to be the great friend, funny, wonderful, bright, cheery, blah blah...person...why do I accept crap. I know I'm worth more. I guess the thing is..I thought I found more. Lol. Funny. "It's ok Christie...Share...Don't be afraid...I know you never share you hold it in....it's ok....you can tell me anything.!!!!" What a fucking fool. It was all in the eyes. My heart needed to trust it...and so my brain followed.

And life goes on.....

Mmmm my coffee...

Ok, so here's what I'm really thinking this morning...

My coffee is good. Finally, a little coffee to enjoy. Something good to relax with while I wait to take the boy to school. Finally all of them will be back at school today.

My girly girls were off...and my boy is watching his tivo'd show while he waits to go to school. Z is kicking in and the coffee is accelerating all of it. What a few days. Yeah and some cinnamon coffee pops in my head. I need it to stop. What a fucking few years.

I got on the scale. What a sweet smaller number. No B&P. I did my yoga. Funny thing is my focus on self isn't even there. All these years the body has been my focus along with all the other selfish stuff...and now after being sick, the bd..and being the perfect damsel...the body once again is falling perfectly into balance. It always does. No throwing up this time. I hold my own power. I'm so mad. Hurt. Mad. Hurt. Mad. Hurt. Mad. No more Bullshit. I choose to walk away.

I always said I wanted to be the "one". The chosen one. Well, you know...I choose me. I say it...i don't quite believe it yet. I'll say it more and it will sink in. I miss my other half, though. That part no one can deny. I just have to move past it.

I'm hoping the writing will be cathartic.....
Xoxo
C

Suprises..

As my heart was breaking and I was having the pity party of all pity party I found a friend and someone to listen in the strangest of places. She listened, she heard me...she wanted to hear me. Thank you.

yoga...

I think I just need a little yoga....a nice glass of shiraz...and a little music.

When daughters become the mothers....

The calls, the complaints, the words come across....

She doesn't want to be here anymore. She feels that badly in her world.

Now what. It breaks my heart.

Curves...

Life has pefected the art of throwing curves when we most need them. It's easy to think it may be when we least need them, but those curves can save our lives. The gutt wrenching, breath taking, tear causing, emotional charged curves that run in the middle of our lives when we don't want or need them...are the same curves that can stop heartache in it's track.

The heart. We all want and need love. Is that our purpose? To find and to love. To love our children, our partners....ourselves. Only by knowing and feeling true unconditional love are we able to spread the compassion and carry on in life as good people.

Lots of pain has led the fingers to those words. It's time for honesty with myself. I know it's not about me....but you know....I need to start somewhere. No more Bullshit! I won't tolerate it!
Even as I type that I'm full of shit. I miss my sl. I miss everything. I don't know how to do this.
xoxo
C

Numb

I've just lost my best friend, or so it feels. I'm numb. Did my world stop? Was I dreaming? Am I that bad? There are no words. I'm just numb. Ugh. I'm sick. My pit is there. My lump is in the throat. I miss my friend already.