Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Mmmm my coffee...

Ok, so here's what I'm really thinking this morning...

My coffee is good. Finally, a little coffee to enjoy. Something good to relax with while I wait to take the boy to school. Finally all of them will be back at school today.

My girly girls were off...and my boy is watching his tivo'd show while he waits to go to school. Z is kicking in and the coffee is accelerating all of it. What a few days. Yeah and some cinnamon coffee pops in my head. I need it to stop. What a fucking few years.

I got on the scale. What a sweet smaller number. No B&P. I did my yoga. Funny thing is my focus on self isn't even there. All these years the body has been my focus along with all the other selfish stuff...and now after being sick, the bd..and being the perfect damsel...the body once again is falling perfectly into balance. It always does. No throwing up this time. I hold my own power. I'm so mad. Hurt. Mad. Hurt. Mad. Hurt. Mad. No more Bullshit. I choose to walk away.

I always said I wanted to be the "one". The chosen one. Well, you know...I choose me. I say it...i don't quite believe it yet. I'll say it more and it will sink in. I miss my other half, though. That part no one can deny. I just have to move past it.

I'm hoping the writing will be cathartic.....
Xoxo
C

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