Thursday, May 22, 2014

Back To So Cal!

Flying to my baby sister's wedding and full of a ball of energy in me! It's excitement, nerves, pure joy of going home, and more nervous energy from the kids. It's what they do and it's what they give in the endless who is sitting with whom. It's traveling with Christie and her ducklings. They quack and quack and quack, then the daddy falls sound asleep with his mouth open for delightful pictures to bribe with, at a later time.

Off to Cali and all my memories flood back. Only my girlfriends and guy friends really get growing up in the 80's in so cal, like we did and the free fun the beach gave us. Driving down PCH with guys wrapped in towels and taking off their wetsuits was quite the sight of cute boys for girls in cars!

Raised by hippies, I listened to so much vinyl every single day. I was lucky to have my dad. The song for this post is Surfin USA. Lyrics in the speak our life during our time. We had the Hirachi Sandals. We did Huntington, Sunset, watched our guys, and wanna be guys,near San Onofre, and so much more from that song. With our change in our bags for the 25 Bus, more change for a diet coke, and if we were lucky we could share NACHOS from that stand near the pier! Also, we brought the necessities like a low chair, baby oil, towel, small boom box with batteries if we had one. Yeah, lol, no one ever had batteries. We spent money on hair spray!
So much more. Aaaahhhhhh....the ducklings are quiet, because they can use pads and pods now.

On to the family....

Monday, May 05, 2014

Freak Out Moment

It's frightening that my daughter believes it's cool and beautiful seeing my bones in my chest, from losing weight. She marvels at them. As she suffers from an eating eating disorder, it makes my stomach turn every time notices the, BONES.  The BONES are becoming, to her her, and many girls she knows, as important as the thigh gap.

.....

My Mom ....when she was good she was goooood.
My Mom.....when she was manic or depressed she was scary, full of fury, and fire.

........

Life comes full circle and I can see myself in places and faces of strangers and loves. I choose the numbness so the fury or fire stays closed off inside its hiding place. Does it even exist? I don't know. I'd hate to find out, though.


xoxo
C