Everyone in my family will, freely, admit we're a little nuts. Some more than others...but all are to some degree..nuts.
Now, that being said, most of my illuminating conversations with my mom happen before 7AM (my time...5AM Long Beach time.) She tries her hardest to remember the no calling before 7AM rule. That took years to be fully enforced. If it's a weekend I usually get a reprieve until 8.
Let me give you a little back brief (my term for in a nutshell.) My oldest has had so many kidney surgeries and continually has issues because of infections. My middle princess and I both just got over pnemonia...The boy is just the boy...and now I'm faced another move and self reflection. Those growths on my ovary were not cysts they were solid. All of that hit right after the new year. Soooooo...yes a handful.
Recovering and on day 3 of the Zithromax, my mom called and informed me why my life is so FUCKED up....Yes...."Fucked UP." She is a younger mom and i'm the oldest. She's nuts.
Me..Wow 6:59...you're getting better.
Mom...Christie, I know why you're life is so fucked up.
Me...Well...hi mom. I didn't realize I was so fucked up. Thank God I have coffee dripping.
Mom..Well that's the reason your fucking up your life.
Mom...When you got married you promised God that you'd raise your children Catholic and you're not. That church your going to isn't Catholic and it's the only way to heaven. Now that the Pope might be getting rid of Purgatory...you need to get those kids fixed. (I do go to a Catholic Church..but there are no cadles and my mom doesn't get it...)
Mom...You promised and you need to fix this.
Me...Well is that why you're so fucked up...because you Converted to being Jewish (and back again) and married Dad...and now have two catholic daughters and one jewish daughter (one sister decided she wants to be jewish.) .....Hmmmm???
Mom...Ok I'm saying a Novena...my prayers are always answered. You need to go to confession.
Me....What are you on?
Mom...Promise me in 30 days you'll have them in all the right classes.
Me...Hellllooooo...the kids are fine...happy...healthy...and all things being said, they'll go to heaven, but I'm not God.
Mom...I'm right just admit it? I'm always right...
Me...Anything else? You have 2 minutes....
Mom...Now that everyone is out of the house did you know that Daddy can walk around in a towel or naked any time he wants tooo?????
And that my friends is my life. My mom is a kook...I'm fucked up (but know i'm not).....and the thought of my parents walking around naked just because....YUCK!!!!! All of that was before my coffee......
And how was your day?