This morning I woke up feeling much better. I feel like I'm grounded. My husband's comment of getting me a money manager, so I won't even have to worry about money during this deployment kind of just broke the grim reality of another deployment to Iraq. He is such a man..lol! He even has his Quicken/Excel spreadsheets on his Palm. Too funny.
Ok, so January is far enough away. The kids have totally just got into a comfy zone, though. Middle Princess, who has had the worst time with the leaving and returnings, is finally doing great and doesn't scream so much when I leave her with Daddy for a quick run to the market.
I have to watch my words around the kids, because if I mention Iraq or War...we're going to need immediate therapy. Not that I have given up my therapist or the Zoloft. Thank God for Zoloft. Literally!
I think I'm ready to write my book. Yes, I can actually write. I may not edit my blogs or think to hard about what I write, because I just let my fingers fly on here. I think people need to know what this is doing to families and how little support there is. Actually, what kind of support would could we expect? I'm not one for handouts. I won't exploit the fact that I have a deployed hubby in Iraq. I just don't like that. It's just that it's getting to the point of no return with the Daddieis and the Mommies out there.
To those of you who say...he should just get out...well not everyone can get out. My Major Dad decided to get his MBA and the Marine Corps gave him a "little" tuition assistance. For that you can tack on some years. He still has 1 1/2 years left in the place we are now. You can't just quit. If he were in the Army he'd be screwed. The Army has a stop loss in effect. Which means, you can't get out even if you want to or if your retirement time has come. So it's a mess.
I'm not truly venting, because it's going to be a good day. Tomorrow he leaves for 3 weeks of annual training. He's a full time Marine and has been for 11 years. He has to go and train the reserve guys, because they're used all the time now. The word draft is actually making it's way into the vocabulary of military recruiters. Can you imagine?
Ok...so now....this isn't a pro or anti war blog. I'm a wife and mom. I married my husband right out of college and knew nothing of military. I didn't even know there were enlisted and officers. I was clueless. So, please no, "You knew what you were getting into when you got married." I didn't!
I'm off to live my life behind the smile on my face. I am in a much better place than last year at this time. I don't expect any breakdowns any time soon. So, life is ok, better than most. As I always say....And life goes on...
XOXO,
Christie
6 comments:
I hope that once your DH deploys you will keep us updated on his experiences as well as your emotinoal state. That's a good way for those of us who, like you fresh out of college, don't know much about the military. I enjoy looking at my friend's site when she posts her DH's pics from Iraq.
It's Friday tomorrow and that's a darn good thing!:)
Thank you my sweet friend. You're great. Thank you for making me laugh on a daily basis. Even when you rant, you're good for the soul. I'm glad we have blogs and found our little OBA group.
XOXO
C
I can relate to you oh so completely! When my husband and I got married, he was fresh out of bootcamp. I knew nothing of living outside my home town, let alone the military. I love the Marine Corps, and miss it so much. I begged my husband to stay in, but with his training in the Corps he got an awesome job working for them, only as a civilian, and it pays WAY more. I didn't know the Army had a Stop Loss going. A couple years back, the Marine Corps had their stop loss and I was supporting friends who were suppose to be getting out and couldn't. I pray for you and your husband, and know that I am always here to lend an ear.
Semper Gumbi (Always Flexible, the Marine Corps Wives Motto)
I know this is long, but I wanted to share it with you! I love this!
The Military Wife
The good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into his
sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said, "Lord, you seem to
be having a lot of trouble with this one. What's the matter with the
standard model?"
The Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be
completely independent, posses the qualities of both father and mother, be
a perfect hostess to four or forty with an hour's notice, run on black
coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to
carry on cheerfully, ever if she's pregnant and has the flu, and she must
be willing to move 10 times in 17 years. And oh, yes, she must have six
pairs of hands."
The angel shook her head. "Six pairs of hands? No way!"
The Lord continued, "Don't worry, we shall make other military wives to
help her. And we will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell
with pride in her husband's achievements, sustain the pain of separations,
beat soundly when it's over-worked and tired, and be large enough to say 'I
understand,' when she does not, and say 'I love you,' regardless."
The angel circled the model of the military wife, looked at it closely and
sighed, "It looks fine, but it's too soft."
"She might look soft," replied the Lord, "but she has the strength of a
lion. You would not believe what she can endure."
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the
Lord's creation. "There's a leak," she announced. "Something is wrong with
the construction. I am not surprised that it has cracked. You are trying to
put too much into this model."
The Lord appeared offended at the angel's lack of confidence. What you see
is not a leak," he said. "It's a tear."
"A tear? What is it there for?" asked the angel.
The Lord replied, "It's for joy sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness,
pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold
dear."
"You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel.
The Lord looked puzzled and replied, "I didn't put it there."
I'm not a military wife, so I can't pretend to understand what you face each and every day, but I can at least tell you that we're all here for you to share your feelings. We may not know each other physically, but we're getting to know everyone through our blogs. We're our own little circle of friends and we'll be here with you whenever you need us.
I'm with Beth on that one too. It's a lot of fun to befriend someone through blogs. Mom's blog chains have got to be the coolest thing around. Keep letting us all know where you're at emotionally. We all need to feel like we've been heard. I trust that you have a strong core group of women (Mom's) that can help you through the tough times and celebrate with you as well. My husband just joined Canada's Air Force working as a civilian. He is loving it. Fascinating that it is a totally new world out there for military. Keep that smile, it looks GREAT on you! TC
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