I've heard it all and sometimes from the people who've mattered most and those moments have stayed with me forever. I wish I could erase them from my memory, but at this time in my evolution it's just not happening. It just reminds me as a woman and mother to watch the words.
"Are you going to wear that?"
"This could be our time." I type that with a lump in my throat, because I threw that out all over my body. My vanity chosen over the possiblity of happiness. F*cking crazy. Well, at the time I would say I was a little both, vain and crazy.
"You have the prettiest face of anyone in the family." Yeah the prettiest face, but the fattest, right?
"A diet of tuna and tomatoes can make you really skinny and maybe then you could be a plus sized model!" Talk about something that keeps going through my brain like a favorite song looping on your iPod.
These are the few I can handle writing down without going to the dark place. Hey those are some serious steps for the 40 years of me. Sometimes I can only handle what I can handle. Enough for now, since this woman is no longer the woman that thinks of herself as the fat one with the pretty face. Final thought, though. I look at the pictures during all those periods in my life and I'm like where's the fat? I was fine. the insecurities can make you fat, make you eat, and take the smile from your sweet face.
Love you friends...
xoxoxo
C
2 comments:
Aww, Christie. You're so pretty! It's most important to feel good about yourself though, and those do hurt. I've lost 30 lbs this year, and I still don't feel good about myself yet. Good about how far I've come, but not about where I'm at.
April, thank you! Congratulations to you, too! As of yesterday I'm down 34, too. I feel better and at the same time I get the funk. I'm working out so much more and it feels good, but wish I'd get more of the endorphines that are promised with said workouts.Here's to us and feeling good...we deserve that much, right? xoxoxo
Post a Comment